Nickki

Hanging out with Nickki tonight was what I needed. I've known Nickki for more than 10 years now. It's rare to have friends like that in your life still. What's crazy about it is that I met Nickki dancing and it is still the core of our friendship.

I met Nickki when we were both in high school. She was a couple of years older than me and we used to be in the same Pilipino cultural dance troupe together. We lost touch when we went to college and went our separate ways, on our own journeys.

The cool thing about it was I ran into her again thru similar circles at UCLA, and now I have to say, she is one of the dopest female dancers in my life right now. We've seen each other thru our dance development and she's one of the females that has pushed me thru my dancing and is constantly inspiring me with her insight, much more beyond her dancing.

We had a good conversation tonight and I shared with her my frustrations and my internal conflict with dancing at the moment. I shared with her my frustrations with dancing at Debbie Reynolds and how it was affecting my self-esteem and how I see myself as a dancer. Yet, in the end of it all, I keep saying what I've always been saying all these years, I just wanna freestlye better.

The more I travel this road and the more I discover myself as a dancer in this process, I'm starting to realize that all this money that I'm spending in the studio studying other people's choreography and movement, I could spend on my own, practicing by myself and developing my own style and movement along with practicing with others, where it doesn't cost a thing.

Thanks to Nickki she reminded me of all these O.G. dancers who developed their styles on their own. They did not go to any dance studios to learn from someone, they did it on their own. She schooled me on how all these dancers that were winning the battles were not learning in the dance studios, they were practicing with other people and were practicing on their own.

It's been almost a year that I've been taking dance classes at Debbie Reynolds, and I'm starting to realize that it was good in seeing other people's styles and movement and their interpretation of movement, but I started to lose my own style and me in the process. It's time to return back to me.

So I slowly find myself transitioning out of the dance studio process and getting back into the discipline of practicing on my own and with others. When I was young, that's all I ever did. I didn't have the money to go to a dance studio. That's why I started going to dance studios just now, when I had a full-time job and could afford it. My parents couldn't afford to put me in a dance studio growing up. I just danced on my own and made routines up with friends. That's when we had to resort to being creative and copying the moves from the music dance videos that we used to watch. That was who I used to be. I guess, I kinda lost that in the process.

But now, I am slowly starting to remember and realized after talking to Nickki that I already have a lot of arsenal, a lot of knowledge from the different styles I've learned growing up. Now it's all about pulling out what's in my treasure box and incorporating it into who I've become today as a dancer.

Thanks Nickki for always reminding me of who I once was and holding up the mirror in front of me so that I could see who I've always been and who I really am. As a dancer and as an individual. Only true girlfriends like that who I've known for this long can attest to where I've come from and remind me of my roots. Now it's all about exploring that further once again and remembering who I am within the dance.

Without Art, There is Nothing

I went to the Keith Jarrett trio concert tonight at UCLA Royce Hall. I have never been to a jazz concert that has inspired me as much as tonight's concert. I recognize how fortunate I am to see so many great artists and musicians in my lifetime. Live performances are my favorite.

He was so amazing. Watching him perform so passionately. Watching his fingers playing the piano looked like his fingers were dancing on the keys as he played. He was so into it that you could see he was in a different world when he was playing, standing up, making sounds. I could just feel the power of his performance inside of my soul, inside of my body. That's what you call an amazing and powerful performer. Those are hard to come by in this lifetime.

His bass player, Gary Peacock, was synchronizing with him so smoothly thru each piece while Jack DeJohnette was an amazing drummer, the heart beat of each song. Fooling around sometimes with his drum sticks yet maintaining the energy of the song and complimenting both Gary Peacock on the upright bass and Keith Jarrett on the piano. The trio was definitely an amazing team!

I also enjoyed the breaks in between and the one important quote from him that remains in my head after all of that was, "without art, there is nothing". I understand completely, because without art I am nothing.

I found myself also in a trance as I watched and listened to him play thru each song. Sometimes he told a story thru the song, sometimes I found myself dancing in my head to his rhythm, and other times I vanished and travelled mentally with him. Another cool part of the show was that they performed two additional encores. That's because we continued to call him back for more. I didn't know what exactly to expect so I feel like I came out with so much energy and inspiration.

I too want to be a passionate artist who creates beautiful pieces, like Keith Jarrett.

Keith Jarrett, Gary Peacock and Jack DeJohnette at UCLA this Wednesday

Looking forward to seeing this trio this Wednesday at UCLA. I don't remember the last time I went to a jazz concert but this is one I know I'll enjoy beyond explanation. Musicians and artists that can play and produce art with feeling like these three are truly inspiring and amazing. Thank God for good hearing to be able to enjoy good music like this in my lifetime =)

UCLA Live presents a concert performance by Keith Jarrett, Gary Peacock and Jack DeJohnette at Royce Hall.

In a remarkable career spanning more than 40 years, Keith Jarrett has come to be recognized as one of the most creative and uncompromising artists of our times. Jarrett has achieved worldwide acclaim as an improviser of unsurpassed genius; a master of jazz piano; a classical pianist of great depth; and as a composer who has written hundreds of pieces for jazz groups, orchestra, soloists and chamber ensembles. His trio of 25 years features the great jazz bassist Gary Peacock, whose ability to bring melodic and rhythmic freedom into any musical setting has been his trademark, and Jack DeJohnette, simply one of the finest drummers in jazz whose approach to the drums is that of a complete musician. Together, they have produced a catalog of nearly 60 recordings to date, unparalleled in their diversity and scope, and earned five Grammy Award nominations as a result. Widely heralded as "the jazz trio against which all others are measured," [Boston Globe] the threesome make their return to Royce Hall bringing with them their unfettered and unparalleled point of view on jazz.

The Preciousness of Life

Lately, a few of my close friends have been depressed. I don't know if they've ever thought about taking their own lives, but if they have, this is for them:

Yesterday afternoon, I was leaving my cousin's son's first birthday party. My parents were in the car with me and we were driving home on the 405 freeway leaving Orange County. A car had suddenly decided to enter my lane and cut me off. I was in the slow lane getting ready to switch to the 605 freeway. Without warning or preparation, I slammed on my breaks to avoid rear ending this car and lost momentary control over my vehicle. I shouted "watch out guys!". My mom was panicking and I could here her shouting next to me, see her pull her legs up, as my car swerved right initially, and then all of a sudden pulled left into the faster lanes on the freeway. I had no control over the direction my car was going and trying to maintain control over my steering wheel, my hands remained, as I loosened control over my brakes. As we drifted towards the fast lane, my car had switched directions and stopped right in time as to not hit the center divider and halted before a car in the fast lane. My parents were on the passengers side and their side of the car was facing upcoming traffic. Traffic had momentarily stopped. We had survived and in a few seconds, I realized that I had to just keep driving to get to our original destination. At approximately 5pm on a Saturday afternoon, our vehicle was not hit by upcoming traffic, no one was injured, and we were given a second chance to live and continue on our route home. I felt my legs shake, and I told my parents immediately afterwards, "I guess it's just not our time yet".

So fortunate we were in that moment, to have avoided hitting the car in front of us, to have avoided being hit by other cars, and to have been able to finish off our route and return home safely.

Another self-realization that there is still more of life that I have to live. Still more life for all of us to live. In this instance, it was beyond my personal choice to live. I surrendered to the moment, let myself go, and survived. There are still things that I need to accomplish in this lifetime and I am still alive to see them thru.

I love all of you and value the life in all of you as much as I value the life in me. Let's continue moving forward, focus on the opportunities ahead, and be thankful for all the blessings we have around us. Life is going to throw us some curve balls, some challenges along the way, but they are simply tests for us to learn larger lessons and tests of choice and personal character. If we pass the tests, we move on thru life, learning the lesson so when faced with similar challenges, we know how to overcome them. If we do not pass the tests, we end up in the same place, dealing with the same issues until we learn from them. It is always about moving forward so we can be better individuals than who we were before. Life is short, life is precious, so live true, live strong, live every moment to the fullest. One day, it may be your turn to go, it may not be your decision to make, so make sure that all the choices you make are yours to own and extensions of gratitude for the life that you have been given. Remember, even in your darkest moments, there is always someone there who loves you more than you're willing to realize, accept, or acknowledge and there is always someone who believes in your true potential and worth sometimes more than you're willing to see yourself. What is important is that we realize our true potentials and worth without the validation of others and in those times of isolation, know the beauty within us and the true worth and talents we have to offer to the world. Acceptance and respect for self and for life. This is intertwined with the preciousness of what life has to offer.

The Continuum of Dance

When I was 4, I took ballet.
When I was 5, I tried to break dance after watching my brother and his friends break dancing in our garage and at school.
When I was 7, I took jazz dance.
When I was 8, I learned to cha-cha.
When I was 9, I started doing Filipino dancing.
When I was 10, I started to dance new jack swing.
When I was 12, we called it house. I used to watch my friends break dance and we would try to do it too. Their crew name was "Ethnic Nation".
When I was 14, we danced hip hop and I was in an all-girl dance crew.
When I was 15, I started to learn traditional Filipino dancing with a lot of really good Filipino dancers. This definitely showed me a different part of my cultural identity. It is where I discovered the roots to my spirituality and my culture thru music and dance.
When I was 17, I learned how to swing dance and entered my first lindy hop/swing dance contest. In the beginner's round, we won 2nd place.
When I was 18, I learned how to dance a little cumbia and salsa.
When I was 17, I tried out for UC Irvine's Kaba Modern, but didn't make it. Nevertheless, I still found ways to keep dancing.
When I was 20, I started to learn how to freestyle dance in the clubs of LA. I haven't stopped since.

When I was 24, I took a break for 3 years to study Filipino Martial Arts. I didn't realize it was still a continuum of movement, and in it's own way, it was also a form of dance. They say martial artists make good dancers, maybe it's the way they understand movement in combat also how they translate that finese on the dance floor ;)

When I was 27, I was reintroduced to freestlye dancing and hip hop. I also returned to the clubs. I haven't stopped since.
When I was 28, I took my first locking class, started to learn basic popping, took my first salsa class and my first tap dance class. I also took my first dance class in another country. I took a house class in Tokyo from Hiro, a punking class from Yoshie, and a house class from Masayuki in Hiroshima.
When I turned 29, I took my first waacking and voguing class, my first West African dance class, and continue to lock and pop. I also started focusing on house dancing and helped to organize our first house dance practice session in LA.

I still freestyle.

This is my continuum of dance.

Open House Launching footage

Open House Practice Session 2


Open House Practice Session 1


Thanks Angelo for the footage! The LA movement has begun =)

RENT

Great things continue to happen. I just spent a weekend in the bay area visiting Satoshi and Sachi with Kyo, SANO, and Take. Non-stop eating and enjoying of the libations and trust me, I have tons of pictures to prove it once I get my camera back next week (that's a wordy story). It was so much fun having a change in scenery and environment. I also got to clear the air with my brother and attend my friend, Shino and her husband, Xavier's baby shower in Oakland. I always appreciate different parts of San Francisco every time I visit. There's always another side of the bay area that I discover and others that I remember and have forgotten.

Last night was a continuation of this weekend. We had an amazing first session at Open House. Very diverse, all dancers and house lovers definitely represented coming from as far as the Valley and Orange County, all meeting Downtown. Ranging from breakers, to freestyle dancers, to poppers, lockers, waackers, and just house dancers. It was an amazing turnout. We expected 20 people and got 35. I can't wait for this weekly session to jump off. Good thinking, Emiko and good work from our Open House Family team of dancers and organizers. I hope for it to continue and maintain momentum.

And now, tonight, a continuum of all that is good, I will go see the Broadway musical "Rent" for the first time with my homegirls, Jenebah, Junko, and Jessica, all dancers out of coincidence but all lovers of theater. I can't wait! =)