How can you make it better?

This morning when I started my workday, a student that I've been working with at one of my schools asked me if he could talk to me. I've known this student for two years now and he asked me what was going to happen to his mom and his family because of his attendance. In this conversation, I found myself remembering why I chose to become a social worker and missing the talks that I used to have with students like him.

Immediately, I saw how depressed he was and has been for quite some time now. I know the pressure that he must be carrying and the weight of his situation. He is only a 5th grader, but he is the oldest boy in his family, having an older sister, and a younger brother, his mom works 2 jobs to help support all of them, no father in the picture. This is a common scene for the families that I work with at my schools on the day-to-day basis.

So I asked myself, what could I do to empower him to think of taking responsibility for his actions and his life and release the pressure that he is placing on himself. Being a counselor at times, is a huge responsibility to take, a challenging one, but critical as well.

As I listened to him speak, and asked him about his overall well-being, I also asked him to place himself in his mom's shoes to try and understand what she goes thru and see why she is struggling. But, to follow that I wanted him to reflect on the one question that I felt he should always ask himself throughout his day and throughout his life:

How can I make this better? This situation, this problem, how can I make it better?

I wanted to train him to start thinking of his own solutions, his own methods in solving the problems he is facing. When his mom is struggling, when he is struggling, I wanted him to stop punishing himself in his mind or stop blaming himself for things and truly take ownership of those words: How can I make this better? Or what can I do in my power, to make things better?

Because many of my students deal with so many problems in their lives, a single mother, working 2 jobs, a sibling who is also trying to find themselves and be the parent as well, attending schools where there is not enough support, attention, there is never enough money to have the things that they want and desire, the most important thing I want to offer to a child is the ability to take ownership of their situation and always challenge themselves to ask that question:

How can I make this better?

Sure, I can't change the entire world. I can't change his entire life, but I can plant the seeds in his mind to change his method of thinking into something more productive and sometimes, that's all a child needs, is someone who can believe in him and encourage him that he can make things better and give him the tools to find his own answers and focus on improvement rather than punishment or self-defeat.

Sometimes, we all have to ask ourselves from time to time when we face our daily struggles and setbacks: How can I make this better?