I was reminded of the power and impact of my job today. One thing that I feel is consistent about me is my word. I try not to say things if I will not follow thru on them. My word is my bond.
When I said goodbye to my students last week at Gardena HS, it was just as hard on them as it was on me. One of my students invited me to his basketball game and another one who was close to me invited me to their Christmas program. I couldn't make the basketball game because it was during my work hours but the Christmas program, although it was after my work hours was a bit more doable. She cried on my last day and I gave her a hug telling her it was gonna be alright.
My heart broke a bit that day. It's hard saying goodbye to students who are used to disappointments and departures at such a young age. I care about my students a lot and I hated being another departure or disappointment in their life. I knew I had to come to the Christmas program.
So I went tonight. I said "hello" to the principal and my former colleagues. I turned around at the sound of "hello, Ms. Samson". Again, she started crying and I told her "I told you that I would come. If I say I'm gonna come, I'm gonna keep my word". She cried because she said I was there, and even though her mother couldn't make it that night, I wanted her to know that I would be there for her in her best moments as I was in her tough moments, which is how we met in my office. I've seen her go thru a lot in the past few months, but tonight I was determined to see her shine.
I attempted to sneak out early to get back home and end my day but she stopped me on my way out. She thanked me, I gave her a hug and told her to stay in touch. I walked out the door but as I walked out, I realized that there was more I wanted to say and I wasn't finished yet. So I turned around swiftly, went back into the auditorium and told her how proud I was of her. I told her she did a great job and gave her one last hug. She told me that she was just about to cry again but that it meant a lot to see me there tonight. I finally got a glimpse of what it would be like if I was a mom, and how important it would be to me, no matter how tired I am from a days work, to be there for my children, like I am for my students.
I walked out the auditorium gates, the school gates, got into my car and drove out of the parking lot. Looking at the Gardena HS sign, one last time, I thought to myself: "it's moments like these that reaffirm why I'm a social worker and why I'm doing this job. It's not about saving as many students as I can. It's about making a difference in one student's life within the span of 3 months as those before me had done for me. It's this connection and this type of change that will be imprinted on my heart and the lives of my students for a lifetime." These are the moments that make life worth living.
